5 Steps To Be Your Best Self When Someone Offers You A Sh⚡t Thought.

What do you do when someone offers you a sh*t thought?

All those times I’ve tried to tell myself ‘don’t let it get to you,’ IT GETS TO ME.

The more I try to ‘just move on,’ the more I keep arguing with them.


This is just not how I want to spend my time and energy anymore.

If you’ve found yourself landed here, then you probably don’t want to waste your days away trying to ‘get over it’ either.

I found a lighter way to work with sh*t thoughts and judgements that allows me to move on in complete peace with myself and in full trust of my response.


I invite you to print this out or save it as a loving reminder for yourself that your best self is always here for you.

Click here to view the PRINTER FRIENDLY VERSION.


Step #1:  Choose PEACE in the present moment.

It’s completely normal to react and respond as if an attack has been made on you the moment someone says something that makes you tense up and feel like sh*t.

Know this.

You are not your thoughts, emotions or reactions.

You are merely a normal human being having a normal fear response.

When you feel an attack has been made, you get to choose in the moment to shift your energy.

You get to CHOOSE PEACE FOR YOU in the present moment.


Step #2:  Choose to see ALL thoughts as an energetic gift.

No matter what thoughts you have, they offer you a specific emotion or feeling that you get to experience in your body.

Depending on what you’re wanting to feel at the moment, it may offer a high vibration or low vibration in your body.


In this case, this person served up a thought (most likely an adopted, unchecked oppressive thought from society) . . . that offers an undesirable vibration.  

One that you took on as a sh*tty gift.


Step #3:  Energetically give it back to them.

If you don’t like the gift that someone offers you, you can choose not to keep it.

“Thank you for this thought, but it’s not the right fit for me at this moment.”  
“I choose not to keep it and you can have it back.” 

You may express this internally or if you wish, you may share it openly with the other person.

Either way, offering the unwanted gift back to them energetically is a peace offering to both yourself and the other person.


Step #4:  Offer them love for where they are.

If it’s a thought they feel strongly about having and can’t seem to want to take it back, offer them grace for being where they are and feeling what they are feeling.

You may offer them a bag full of love to carry their sh*t in, even though you chose not to take on their gift.

“Even though I choose not to take this thought and emotion as mine, 
I can hold space for you to have them and love you through it.”

You can choose not to use up any more energy to fight them on something that they are struggling with and causing them grief.

You can allow them to be as they are . . . A human being having a fear response to something triggered from their past, and you can allow yourself to be as you are . . . A loving human being who can offer love to soften their grief.


Step #5:  Devote yourself to inner peace and amplify your boldness.

Seeing their sh*tty thought as a returnable gift is much more loving to both parties than to try and prove who’s right and who’s wrong.

You can both move on and shift your energy much faster . . . back to peace and love.

A win win for all.


Practice this often.  

Devote yourself to inner peace at any given moment and witness the power of love amplify your boldness.

You have everything you need right here, right now to 
be your best and aligned self.

The world yearns for a daring soul like you to express yourself authentically and wholeheartedly.

In your boldness, others can find the courage within to do so as well.


If you want to react less and be more of your BOLD self, join the Deliberate Self-Confidence Experience.

Learn how you can feel the fear of judgement, move forward with ease and have fun anyways! 

CLICK HERE to learn more! 😘


Vanessa Leung is a Master Fear Whisperer, Inner Peace Guide, Speaker, Blogger, and the owner of 80/20 Living & Co. 


With her background as a Certified Life Coach, Reiki Energy Practitioner, Registered Holistic Nutritionist and Designer, Vanessa teaches simple and practical tools to help leaders like you stress less, focus more, and love hard on who they are in life and business.

Follow-through on what you want in your life, the way you want to, even with fear knocking at your door. 

She helps you get right down to the root cause of all your fears, doubt, shame, guilt, overwhelm and self-doubt so you can express the fullness of who you already AM. 


SUCCESS and EASE is your birthright.  

Being the best version of yourself without the mind games is a skill you can learn and master. 


Vanessa helps you lead powerfully as your whole-hearted self by letting go of the procrastination, people-pleasing and perfectionism in a way that is compassionate and self-loving.  You learn how to settle into being someone who naturally has more fun, more time and space to enjoy the things you love.

In every Self Mastery experience you deliberately choose, you uncover a deeper trust in yourself to follow-through on your deepest deepest desires and goals with ease.  You learn how to own your fears, make decisions with confidence, and master your own unique process.


There's only one skill you need to move forward with confidence.  

SELF MASTERY is the remembering of the infinite bring that you are. 


When she’s not deep in co-creation, you’ll find her deep in the forest with her fur-love, Barley, or in the kitchen with her partner cooking up a storm.

Her power statement is I AM IN IT NOW.

DARE TO BE YOUR BOLD SELF . . . just because it's more fun that way!

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