The Hidden Struggle Behind Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone.

 

Stepping outside of your comfort zone, doing harder things, may shake up your nervous system but that doesn't mean you have to struggle to take that one step.

 

This is a reminder that I offer myself. A LOT.

I get to define what hard work means to me.

 

I was brought up in a culture where I was taught “no pain, no gain.”

That somehow the more effort and hardship I feel and the more struggle I work through, the more worthy I am and the better I can feel about myself and my growth.  That I somehow need to justify that I deserved to be recognized just because I went through a lot of turmoil in order to get to the other side.

 

What if stepping outside of your comfort zone could be “more ease, more gain?”

 

Allowing it to be more easeful and enjoyable doesn’t mean you’re weaker or less worthy of having what you have or what you’ve created in your life.

If anything you’re claiming your worth by offering yourself a gentler way to go about it.

 

You’re allowed to give yourself permission to gain all the goodness, feel worthy now . . . without the struggle.

 

How to Redirect Unnecessary Struggle:

You can do so by first PAUSING everything, allow yourself to step back from it all just so you can take a deep long breath to free up mental and emotional space so that you can regulate your nervous system.

 

I find that when I’m so focused on beating myself up about finishing a project, or when I get impatient, spinning in indecisions about a family matter, on top of feeling completely exhausted, there’s no amount of “you have to get it all done” thoughts that will actually help me get everything done.

I only feel more disappointment, more stress, and more frustration with myself.

My nervous system is so taxed that I can’t even see other possible ways through the struggle.

 

By deliberately offering myself space to PAUSE and remind myself “Vanessa, PAUSE. Remember, you’re in stress response mode right now,” I can honour myself in the moment, without having to do anything more or anything less.

 

I just get to be me in the moment.

• “I am safe at this moment.”
• “I am safe to be where I am and feel what I feel.”

 

If your brain offers you resistance like, “it’s too hard to make it easy for myself,” and proceed to go right back into the loop, here’s where I will do a FULL STOP.

 

I deliberately send myself off to do the last thing I would want to do in the moment. =)

Double down on loving myself, for me it's to draw myself a hot bath full of Epsom salts.  (Side note: The skin is the largest organ in your body and soaking in Epsom salts is the fastest way to give yourself a good dose of magnesium which calms your nervous system and muscles down.)

So even when you mentally resist, you can physically support yourself in a healing way.

 

10/10 times, the salt does the work of rejuvenating me while I cry my eyes out in the bath, and I walk out calmer, with deeper insight and clarity into myself, which later manifests into a surge of inspiration to get what I wanted to get done, done.

 

Your brain will always see evidence of what it’s looking for.

Give your brain permission to look for possibilities.

 

Everything you want is available to you right now, even before you take that step outside of your comfort zone.

You're worthy whether you take that step or not.

 

Live freely as you,

xo Vanessa

 

P.S.  If pausing to draw yourself a bath sounds impossible to you right now, it’s only because it’s unfamiliar for your brain to slow down.  Anything unfamiliar to your brain, causes the nervous system to activate and all signs will point to “no, not enough time, there’s too much to do.”  Here’s where we can teach your brain to self-regulate and create a new baseline.  

 

To receive private coaching and guidance with me, let's connect!

 

 

I respectfully acknowledge the hən̓q̓əmin̓əm̓ and Sḵwx̱wú7mesh speaking peoples, and all the Indigenous peoples of the Northwest Coast, on whose traditional and unceded territories I live, work and play.