My Belonging and Being Journey
For years my coping mechanism for avoiding any wrong-doing or confrontation had been to quietly remove myself, and change my focus to “what is the next good thing I can do?”
As long as I was doing good, I was of value and I could show that I belonged and that I had a place to speak.
It was not until I listened to this podcast interview yesterday, did I recognize the impact of a decision I had made when I was 7 years old, just to avoid confrontation in the future.
Here’s what I decided.
“If you don’t want to get teased, you better not say anything until you can speak english properly.”
As a second generation immigrant, english is my second language and naturally I was put in an E.S.L class.
Something that could be seen as a crutch, became my driver to succeed in all that I do so that I would never be seen as “one below.”
This meant putting my identity as a Canadian born Chinese aside and turning a blind-eye on my family’s immigrant status.
This meant never allowing myself to acknowledge my heritage fully because I was busy proving that I belonged here.
I share this now in complete compassion and love for myself, and in deep gratitude for the world as my mirror, to show myself now, the years of avoidance and denial of the privilege I was born into.
What I chose for myself was out of love. My human brain, programmed to protect myself, chose what was best for me at the time. It worked.
I also get to choose what works for me now.
I choose to embrace all of me, which means taking ownership of all of my past and present decisions with grace and love.
I choose to be of complete worth and to belong just by being born.
I choose to be a proud Chinese-Canadian and to be a kick-ass example of what is possible here!
You cannot truly invite self-compassion in until you slow down long enough to understand what is true.
It is never too late to make peace with your past and rise above your own story.
The best way forward is to acknowledge your fears with love.
What do you say? Shall we kick-ass together?
Live freely as you,
P.S. If you are ready to change your experience with other people and reel yourself back in anytime you start to hear the negative self-talk, book a consult with me. I will show you how you can stop hiding your brilliance and put yourself out there with ease.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vanessa Leung is a Certified Mindset and Spiritual Life Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Reiki energy practitioner and the founder of 80/20 Living & Co.
As a self-healer of over 30 years of doubt, guilt and fear, Vanessa is a living example of what the power of the mind can do. Through mind training and practicing self-compassion, she went from living a life feeling lonely, insignificant and depressed to a life of joy, freedom and abundance.
Vanessa teaches simple and practical tools to help high achieving entrepreneurs to succeed with ease and get sh*t done without the mind games. She helps her clients get right down to the root cause of all their Fears. Her clients are able to own their fears, make decisions with confidence, trust in themselves to follow-through and create abundance in their life and business. Fearless and powerful.