How to Love Difficult People
I have a voice that projects so loud that I can stop a New York taxi from down the street. I even scared a bear off while camping once.
Guess who I learned this protection mechanism from?
My dad taught me the art of yelling from a very young age. I learned that whoever had the loudest voice would win the battle.
We had trouble seeing each other eye to eye.
I used to think ‘he is the most stubborn person I know.’ He never wanted to change. He wanted things done one way, and I would do them a different way. He wouldn’t listen to me no matter how hard I tried to explain (yell) my point of view. =)
I loved him but it was very difficult and extremely exhausting to love him.
Difficult people can change.
My dad and I no longer experience anger and frustration for each other in the same way. There is no more yelling and we have a deeper understanding for each other. There might be slight raising in volume when we talk sometimes, but it’s quick to subside because I am now a master of shifting my energy.
The very last time my dad yelled at me was three years ago. We were out to celebrate my brother’s birthday. My dad showed up angry and ready for a fight. It wasn’t long before he had yelled so loud that the entire restaurant stopped to look at us.
That night was unforgettable not because it felt like a scene out of a drama film, but because I experienced a transformation inside of me that I had never experienced before. I had no idea that my response to his yelling that night would forever shift my life and my career.
As my dad spoke louder and louder at me, I felt the bubbling of defensiveness inside of me expanding faster and faster. At that moment of recognition, I reminded myself that I could choose love instead.
Like a master of a beautiful craft, I was able to turn something ugly to something beautiful.
The moment I decided to choose love, I could feel the heavy brew of arguments to prove my point soften to a warm-strength.
For the first time, I did not yell back at him. Instead of holding a shield up and reflecting his energy, I held space for him to share his frustrations. I opened my heart to him and allowed his energy to flow right through my unfamiliar power.
I had replaced defensiveness with unconditional love.
In an instant, I saw the world inside of me differently.
Three months before this experience, I learned from Louise Hay that my thoughts create my reality. Little did I know that my adamant curiousity to learn how to shift my reality would lead me to that very moment in the restaurant where I got to apply and learn exactly how powerful it was to invest in my mind.
I discovered how to love him and myself unconditionally at a moment of conflict and completely shift my reality in an instant. Because of this discovery, my life is now devoted to continued expansion and shifting my reality so that I can teach other compassionate givers, like you, to do the same.
How to unconditionally love difficult people.
Unconditional love is to love someone or something no matter what.
Unconditional love is to recognize that what you see in others is what you see in yourself.
- My dad was only difficult because I believed he was difficult.
- I had trouble seeing eye to eye with him because I was busy trying to make him see things my way.
- I was difficult and stubborn.
- I didn’t want to change what I thought about him.
- I didn’t listen to him because I was busy listening to my own thoughts.
As long as I focus on choosing love, my love for my dad and myself is endless and effortless.
Unconditional love is a skill that is simple to master in your life only if you are willing to devote your life to create awareness and trust in your self.
I am fully committed to loving my life and everyone in it, no matter what. This is why I am devoted to being the master of my life.
P.S. Do you have someone in your life that you try so hard to love, but you can’t seem to meet eye to eye with them? Click here and download this mind-expansion worksheet to help you shift your relationship today.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vanessa Leung is a Certified Mindset and Wellness Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Reiki energy practitioner and the founder of 80/20 Living & Co.
As a self-healer of over 30 years of doubt, guilt and fear, Vanessa is a living example of what the power of the mind can do. Through mind training and practicing self-compassion, she went from living a life feeling lonely, insignificant and depressed to a life of joy, freedom and abundance.
Vanessa teaches a simple and practical method to help ambitious and compassionate entrepreneurs to stop negative patterns and get sh*t done with ease. Her unique set of tools and techniques help her clients move beyond their fears and elevate their energy and confidence. That way, they can stop sacrificing their well-being and succeed in their business while living their best life.