When you’re in the flow and guided by your highest and Truest Best Self, time doesn’t exist. This is how I felt when I wrote this entry. It came in perfect timing for Mental Illness Awareness week.
I always strived to show up the best way I can for others.
I was strong and I can take care of it myself. Always has been.
Everything had to go smoothly and done right.
I always knew exactly what to do to help and if I didn’t know something, I always figured it out.
I was always the best person to complete the task.
I wanted to help and excel at everything and no one was to be disappointed in the process.
I cared A LOT about the quality of the result and I didn't care how much time and effort it took me to get it done.
Overextending myself to meet their needs was my norm.
What I didn’t realize was that the busy-ness was only in my mind.
My body was on autopilot following the same actions everyday. Things that came out of my mouth were on autopilot. I had gotten myself in such a routine of busy-ness that I didn’t know how to stop.
I was so busy thinking about the possible outcome that things could go wrong, that I spent most of my time and energy doing everything I could to make it right.
When the outcome turned out to be not so bad, I would then spend my time and energy thinking about how I should have done something better, what I should have said and what I should try to fix right away.
Although I was busy, I wasn’t actually paying attention to anyone authentically or even had the slightest idea of how I was showing up for my life.
I was disconnected.
I thought that being busy working and focusing on other people would make me happy and fulfilled, but that wasn’t the case. I was very depressed.
There was always this underlying guilt that
"There is always more I can do to improve."
I wasn't taking care of myself and didn't treat myself the same way I did with others.
I felt inadequate.
"I am doing fine."
This statement kept me going for awhile, until it didn't.
I started to notice my emotional pattern:
Then the cycle would repeat itself over and over again.
I got really good at hiding.
I was well aware of my depressive pattern and I hid it really well from others.
Remember, my belief was “I am strong and I can take care of it myself.”
I was a chameleon. No one knew I was depressed.
My friends just thought I was a super positive person who occasionally turned into a crazy drunk where I had outbreaks of cry.
My biggest problem wasn’t that I was depressed.
My biggest problem was that I didn’t give myself permission to ask for help.
I feared that people would see me as weak because I’ve always been so strong for them.
I didn’t want to be seen as someone who needed help.
I felt ashamed because I always knew what to do, but I didn’t know how to get myself out of the loop.
Only now when I look back to connect the dots, I realize that subconsciously there were calls for help along the way that the Universe answered. People came in and out of my life who offered their help, except I didn’t listen to my own call and allowed my Fear to stop me from receiving the help.
These people were in my life to make my life easier, but I JUST DIDN’T ALLOW MYSELF TO SEE IT.
Life is simple if we allow it. We all require guidance.
The first time I saw myself.
Another call for help went out when I was a few months into my health coaching practice. I was “doing fine” at the time. I was at the point of my cycle where I was coming out of feeling unmotivated and had the DESIRE FOR MORE.
My call was answered when my now life coach, Brooke Castillo, offered to train and coach me.
This time I saw my Fear of judgement show up, telling me that I didn’t have the money to make it happen.
This time my DESIRE FOR MORE was stronger than the Fear.
This time I listened to my highest self.
I knew that the investment wasn’t just for me, it was for all the people in my life.
This was also for all the people that I would help for the rest of my life.
I made it work and invested the most that I had EVER invested in my life. Ahhhh! IT WORKED.
I remember the first time I was coached by my coach, I resisted surrendering my limiting beliefs so much. I didn’t want to see my truth. She sent me away with homework and because I was always a good student, I did my homework. I was glad I did.
The moment I let go of control and said yes to another way of looking at my life, a surge of dense and heavy energy lifted from my chest and I could feel my WHOLE BODY EXPAND.
This is what it feels like to be free.
As I’m writing this post, I remembered I felt so free that I shared the experience through a FB LIVE! (Watch the video above)
I'm Talking to You
We are all in this human experience together.
The secret to life begins in the mind.
All problems are thought problems and solved at the level of the mind.
If you are the independent high-achiever type who wants to make the world a better place… I’m talking to you in particular.
There’s only so far you can go depending on yourself.
There’s only so far you can go trying to control the outcome of everything in your life.
There comes a point when you push yourself so far upstream... against the flow… trying trying and trying… that the break happens and the only choice you have is to surrender.
I encourage you not to wait for the break because you’ll save so much more time and energy if you take action for yourself NOW.
With a BUSY MIND, you cannot truly experience life to the fullest.
Because you want to live your best life possible, the best investment you can ever make is for your mental health.
Receiving guidance and help from someone who knows how to break the pattern, doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re strong enough to break through your Fear.
When you’re anywhere along that repetitive pattern of yours, I encourage you to receive the gift that is offered to you. The gift of self-empowerment.
Trying to motivate yourself is exhausting and ineffective. The quickest way to a living a fulfilled life with ease and happiness is to surrender.
Ask . Trust . Receive
Start to live your best life now starting with this Kick-Start Guide to Aligning with Soul . If you think it's time you reach out for guidance, I'm here for you. My expertise is in connecting compassionate souls with their limitless power to create beauty in this world. Book a discovery call with me and learn a new, simple and practical way of self-mastery so you can regain the confidence you need to expand.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Vanessa Leung is a Certified Mindset and Spiritual Life Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Reiki energy practitioner and the founder of 80/20 Living & Co.
As a self-healer of over 30 years of doubt, guilt and fear, Vanessa is a living example of what the power of the mind can do. Through mind training and practicing self-compassion, she went from living a life feeling lonely, insignificant and depressed to a life of joy, freedom and abundance.
Vanessa teaches a new, simple and practical method to help high achieving creatives to stop negative patterns and get sh*t done with ease. Her unique set of tools and techniques help her clients move beyond their fears, elevate their energy and decide with confidence. That way, they can succeed with ease in life and business.
Are you ready to live in abundance?