I'm often conscious of eliminating certain words in my life because I know they are just not useful and never create a positive result.  Using this word in particular keeps me in a spinning cycle of negative self-talk and then I freeze or distract myself.  

So what word is it?


I should eat better.

She/he should call me back.

They should stop telling me what to do.

The word, should is deceiving because it sounds like it would be useful.  We think that perhaps it might motivate us or someone else to take action, but guess what?  It doesn't.  

Take a moment. 

Try it on and let me know how it feels.  

Do you feel it?  Does it feel good?

To me it feels like guilt.

When I say it about someone else, I feel like I’m judging or shaming them.

Do you see how it’s not useful?!

Could vs. Should

I invite you to choose to use the word COULD instead.

I could…

She/he could…

They could…


When I use could instead, it feels much more empowering.  

I could eat better, but I guess right now I’m choosing not to.



I challenge you for the week to be conscious of when you use it.

Notice when you talk to someone else using the word should.  

Catch it, then release it.





Let go of what’s not useful +

Focus on what IS useful.  

This is how you can stop wasting time and energy.


Want to learn more?


Vanessa Leung is a Certified Mindset and Spiritual Life Coach, Speaker, Blogger, Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Reiki energy practitioner and the founder of 80/20 Living & Co.

As a self-healer of over 30 years of doubt, guilt and fear, Vanessa is a living example of what the power of the mind can do.  Through mind training and practicing self-compassion, she went from living a life feeling lonely, insignificant and depressed to a life of joy, freedom and abundance.

Vanessa teaches a new, simple and practical method to help high achieving creatives to stop negative patterns and get sh*t done with ease.  Her unique set of tools and techniques help her clients move beyond their fears, elevate their energy and decide with confidence.  That way, they can succeed with ease in life and business.

Are you ready to live in abundance?

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