How many of you have crossed boundaries you were unaware of until it’s too late?
How many of you have not set boundaries ahead of time and regret so afterwards?
For free-spirited creatives, like us, it is hard to say no! Our flexible, go with the flow attitude makes life spectacular for us most of the time, but it can also get us into some sticky situations.
Last month was a true test of boundaries for me where I had crossed many lines! I thought I was being my helpful me, thinking that I could spread light and coach everyone I care about through their issues, but the truth was I did not have that right.
I never set boundaries with them ahead of time!
When they came to me with a problem, I automatically assumed that they were asking for help. In my mind that meant coaching. They were probably assuming that I would just be a good listener and tell them everything was going to be ok. They didn’t ask for a coaching session and I didn’t say “mind if I coach you through this”?
It was not until I started feeling the resistance or tension from the other participating parties and even in myself, did I know that I had stepped over and beyond the boundaries.
We all know that feeling. This dark low hanging cloud of unspoken boundaries crossed, no one talks about it, you just feel it and NOW EVERYONE IS PAYING FOR IT!
SETTING BOUNDARIES IS A MUST!
WE ARE TOO NICE SOMETIMES! Or at least we think we’re being kind by not setting boundaries and voicing them out loud, but in the end … EVERYONE SUFFERS.
I assure you, you are not being mean by setting boundaries! You are only looking out for yourself and preventing any misunderstanding.
What does setting boundaries look like?
It’s more like a ‘hey I love you or I care about you, but just a heads up, these are my boundaries and if you cross them, I will react a certain way’. There is nothing wrong with that!
Creating healthy personal boundaries is a form of protection for our well-being, an act of self-love and sets the scene for healthy long-lasting relationships.
To conclude, I encourage you to keep this in mind the next time you start anything with anyone, be it a task, a project, or a relationship. Let them know and ask them in return where your boundaries exist.
Stay tuned next week, PART II of this, where I will share how I approached this situation post TENSION.
BE THE LIGHT | You show up every day making an impact in someone else's life in some shape or form, even if you are not aware of it. Please share the love & share the video/post with anyone you think might benefit from this. Thank you for bringing LIGHT to possible darkness. #bethelight