You know what I’m talking about. You know… those times when someone says to you “I think you should do this or don’t do this…”
Can you resonate with this???!!!
What other people say or what their opinion is, is always, always, always, up for interpretation.
There are 3 ways to look at it:
- You can make it mean something bad about you.
- You can make it mean that it’s about them.
- You can acknowledge the facts. You see their mouth moving and you hear words coming out of their mouth and you can choose not to think anything of it.
The last option is usually a bit hard to do, because we always have a thought.
Here’s the good news. We can choose any thought in the world to think.
- Will you choose a thought that upsets you or a thought that serves you?
- Can you choose a thought that serves them?
Other people cannot upset you. A negative emotion about another person is always dependent on a thought you have about what they say or how they act.
What they say or do is NEVER ABOUT YOU! It’s usually reflection of what they would like or not like for themselves.
I am me.
You are you.
I am in my own skin, I feel what I feel.
You get to be in your own skin, you get to feel what you feel.
We have the right to our own feelings and that is a blessing that we have.
Therefore, you cannot feel for me, and I cannot feel for you.
Think about the last time you shared an opinion. It always comes from a place of “this is what I would do.” It’s actually not about the other person. We just want to be heard.
The next time someone is sharing an opinion they are very passionate about and seems to be suffering (or upset) by thinking that you should or should not do something, the best thing you can think is something along the lines of...
It’s their thoughts that are causing them so much unnecessary pain.
I get to make it mean anything I want.
It’s not about me. It’s about them.
They just want to be heard.
It’s much more empowering if you can come from a place of serving the other person.
Thich Nhat Hanh offers what I think are the best responses.
“Darling, I am here for you.”
“Darling, I know you suffer and I am here for you.”
Give this a try also.
“I hear you. I am here for you.”
If you found this useful, please let me know. Hit reply and send me a comment!
What are some ways you have handled your thoughts about another person’s opinions?
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